Why do we think of a breakup all the times?

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Why do we think of a breakup all the times?

June 5, 2019 Self Actualization 0

The irony of Life: When you love someone deeply, you go blank. You find it difficult to express it in words. When you are done with that someone, you can write a whole book about it.

Harmeet Kaur, Founder, Writersnextdoor

When you are in love, Oxytocin and Vasopressin hormones are released. They control the social and emotional part of the brain. The emotional or right part of the brain only wants to “feel the emotion” and doesn’t search for logic.

When you are getting over it, you are doing it because many times during the course of the relationship you have experienced frustration, stress, anger, pain. Increased release of testosterone hormone handles them, at the same time reducing cortisol (the stress hormone).

Testosterone stimulates the left side of the brain, the logical brain. This part of the brain has to note every account of your experience in memory and infer logic from them. 

Because your right emotional brain is not good with storing the emotion in memory, and the left brain literally stores all experiences in the memory, you can write a book on what is stored, you find blank when nothing is stored in memory.

Solution

You can reduce the pain to a significant level by recalling one bitter memory a day, think something positive about that memory. By repeatedly recalling and saving your bitter memories, the memory is corrupted and you now remember only the good things, and you won’t be able to write a book on it.

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